Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine is speaking publicly about her experiences dealing with an eating disorder in her band's new single, "Hunger." The song appears on the band's upcoming album, High as Hope, and begins with the lyrics, "At 17, I started to starve myself."
In a new interview, Welch explained more about the inspiration behind the emotional song and how it felt to be so honest about such a personal topic. "It's the first time I've been able to put it on paper," Welch told The Guardian's Observer in the interview, which was published Sunday.
She explained that the eating disorder was part of a series of coping mechanisms for various fears she had growing up. “I learned ways to manage that terror—drink, drugs, controlling food," she said in the interview. "It was like a renaissance of childhood, a toddler’s self-destruction let loose in a person with grown-up impulses."
She also revealed that her decision to open up about it in a song confused her sister. "Like, 'You couldn’t admit this for years, and now you put it in a pop song?'" Welch recalled her sister saying.
But Welch said putting it in a song allowed her to discuss an issue that she might not have been able to in other ways. "I know how to deal with it in a song, but a lot of stuff I’m… still figuring out?" she said, when asked what triggered the eating disorder when she was a teenager.
"I can say things in a song I don’t understand yet, like: ‘I thought love was a kind of emptiness’—that feels important," she continued. "You think love is unreachable, empty, hungry, then there’s a kind of sadness when something more stable comes towards you. You don’t recognize it as love because it’s not desperate enough. And I’ve never tied the two together until now."
"It was something I experienced and I’m 31 now and at a time where I can perhaps… see what I was looking for?" she went on.
As SELF reported previously, treatment for an eating disorder is usually tailored to each individual's situation. But it usually includes some form of therapy and possibly medication to treat other underlying conditions, such as depression or anxiety. (Welch did not share whether she sought out any specific treatments for her eating disorder.)
If you or someone you know is at risk or experiencing an eating disorder, resources are available through NEDA or contact their phone helpline at 800-931-2237 or their text crisis line by texting "NEDA" to 741741.
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